I've been putting off writing lately partly because I've been busy, but mostly because it has been too difficult to put into words. Amongst all the quizzes and tests I lost my most precious fur baby. It was the most difficult experience I've ever had. I guess I can go back to where I left off. We decided that since she wasn't improving any and not eating well to finally be more aggressive in treatment for the hepatocutaneous syndrome (which is what I wanted to do from the beginning, but couldn't get the community practice doctors to talk to the internal medicine doctors because they were all too busy). So we transfered her to internal medicine and started amino acid therapy IV to help with all that she was losing from her crappy liver. She would eat 1 type of meat for a couple days then not touch it, so her diet was constantly changing.
The day after her 2nd amino acid treatment she had an awesome improvement so we decided to do more than 1 a week. Her lesions were looking a ton better and her appetite was voracious. The day before her 3rd treatment she totally quit eating and was regurgitating a lot. Her 3rd treatment was on a Friday. By that Saturday night she still wouldn't eat so I started syringe feeding her. By Sunday night she couldn't stand on her own and I decided it was time. I held her all night.
The next morning, which was this last Monday,  I took her in before class and held her furry little head one last time and we ended her suffering. I was and still am beyond devestated. She was my soul mate, best friend, and more than I could ever ask for in a dog. This all happened in a little over a month. Everyday was a rollar coaster. My doctors on internal medicine were so awesome, and shed a few tears with me that day. I've lost family members and lots of other pets, but nothing prepared me for this overwhelming feeling of loss. It hasn't quite been a week yet. The pain still runs through my heart, but the tears aren't falling as often. Trying to take comfort in that I'll see her one day on the other side.